These Streets

»LOVE LETTER TO MYSELF.

Monday, December 31, 2012

To: Siti Julaiha Binte Mohd Johan
From: Siti Julaiha Binte Mohd Johan

Dear Ju,

How are you? I hope you are fine. Wait no, don't pretend to be fine. Stop putting that fake smile and that cheerful attitude of yours. ~~Its been a hard year for you.~~ No cancel that. Ever since you entered your secondary life, it has always been hard. Going through those obstacles in life and standing strong. Yes, you've done shits and unforgivable actions in the past but be glad, that you've become a better person that what you were in your younger days. I'm writing this to you because you're turning 17 in 4 weeks time. I guess, its time for you to step out of your comfort zone and live life fully. Stop pretending, take your life in your own hands. Its your life, you control it, no one else. Yes, there will be much harder obstacles in life but whats life without those obstacles? God is fair. Every time you lose something, you'll gain something better and with those little things you have right now, you'll just have to make do and appreciate it. Think about those who is living in a much difficult situation than you. Be thankful.

Over the past 3 months, you've lost the ones you thought were your love ones like nur rahwani, fatin, nelly and ifah. ok wait, its them. it has always been them. But i guess, due to the situation(?) it made you guys that way? You guys have parted ways and you lost them. Well, i know it hurt. You cried. Whenever you think about it, you still do cry But be thankful. Cause you've lost them and gained 2 new better friends, Syuhaidah and Haryati and without them, you wouldn't have studied so hard and meet new people. Due to them, you've changed or in away improved. Ok, not being one-sided but due to those people that entered your life since sec 3, you've been changing, slowly, step by step. Be happy of your change. I bet your mother is extremely happy about your change.

You've gained haters like Raiyini, Sarah, Diyanah, Azzyati but you don't think badly about them. Thats the good thing. Be happy about it. If you were still the old self,you've already been cursing and being a totally minahrep rage mood or something like that. I'm proud of how you dealt with it. :)

I heard that you're going to take a big change next year. I heard you're going to wear hijab next year. Full hijab with proper attire. I know it'll be hard for you. Especially with growing up surrounded by guys, you're more comfortable with them and don't mind skin-ship but when you start wearing hijab, you can't do it anymore. You have to gain respect and maintain your moral values and dignity/pride. I know you can do it. Slowly and Steadily. Another obstacle for you is losing those tight fitting outfits and revealing clothings. Don't worry, you'll know how to dress up well eventually and will look extremely pretty/gorgeous in hijab and your new outfit combinations :) well, there are a lot more of obstacles, but with God's guidance, you'll be able to overcome those obstacles. Inshaallah.

Good luck for your o level result. You know you've did your best and you've studied hard for it. Now, its all up to God. Pray hard. Pray for the best. Pray for your friends too. Choose the school that you want to go to with your courses. Don't be swayed by influences or other people's opinion cause it's you life, your future. You'll succeed with patience, good personalty, supports, positive mindset and religion. Don't forget to thank God for every single success in life. I believe in you and I know that you know, you'll succeed in life. Inshallah. Amin.

With much love,
Juju x

words spilled @ 12:35 AM / leave goosebumps here ⋄